scarcity

25th Oct 2025- I'm happy to see that this post has officially, melted. 30th August 2024- it will be an ongoing writing as an intention to comeback and reflect on it. I know I could just leave in draft, but posting it will help me to find some clarity in my words. original log date: 30th August Functional Freeze. Can't believe there's a term for a condition I lived in entirely. I cannot describe this in better words. Ergo , I let Google to help you to find out the meaning behind it, while I bed-rotting on same Wild Child scene because I love Poppy's a-hole attitude. Come on, I didn't start it, it wasn't my fault, and if this were America, I would sue. * Cue protagonist.   Additionally, I'm not sure if every situation we live now need to have a very specific term to it. Don't you feel creepy about it? When I saw a reel from a certified therapist (err alledgedly), they claimed there are 2 factors contributing to me feeling stuck. Have  always thought it was...

  Recently, my performance at work went terrible. My mood swung around and I was barely able to articulate my thoughts in proper manner. There's something happened at home but there are a lot of thing going at work too. Today I return here to pour out my mind and see where's this going. I wanted to see if I could find a solution through my own writing.  If I could describe my work nature in one word, it would be hustle. The amount of tasks to be completed in one day is crazy. Let say on one particular day, I need to complete 8 different task excluding pop-up task (a sudden instruction to help other's staff or anything) before I can return home. 8 different tasks within 9 hours to finish it at 100% good execution. The pros would be nothing get delayed but the cons? You can't pause. fast lane. credit: Arity Every day I seek new way to approach my work more lightly. Alas, I failed every day. To accomplish this much in limited timeline seems ridiculous. Ironic...

I pondered quite long whether to write this because my stance is to never tell anything happen at work to public. However, I've decided differently; no obvious figure will be mentioned here and no tea will be served. Everything in this post here are merely my personal view. Not about the event per se.  But if you know, then you know.  they* (a gender neutral referencing to a particular figure, to not disclose the said figure's identity) ----- There was a huge drama happened at work. Quick story; a colleague repeat same trouble, however this time, causing huge backlash from my seniors. I didn't understand the degree of these issue when it happened but others told me the colleague was problematic from day one (even before I joined them). The climax came down to when one of my seniors (will be called subordinate due to different position in next paragraph) gave full feedback to our superior figure, in private. All of this to solve one root of the problem- the s...

I had a call interview at 8PM yesterday. It's not an interview for some job application or internship. It was for an upcoming Korean Speech Contest, that I'm joining for my second time.   What happened during the whole conversation was what upset me so much and drive me crazier that I feel the urge to tell it here. In conclusion, I screw up. I screw up so bad I ponder on what exactly I did all this time? What did I do? Selama ni belajar apa?  Almost cried after we hang up our phone but then I started to think of all the situations that brought me here. That typical brainwash episode you have so that you can find reasons to blame others instead of yourself. 1) I'm exhausted. And I do! Fasting all day long under the hot sun. Tuesday is my most packed day ever compare to other days. I've class straight until 7PM. My last class was a volleyball training at the beach court. I'm guessing that burn me out. 2) Late notification. I received a message from the inte...

Earlier of this year if I am correct, Malaysian have a little battle on why the movie Beauty and The Beast doesn't get a chance to air in the cinema unlike any other movies. Rumors had it it was due to a short clip that was claimed as a 'gay scene', too gay for a decent Malaysian. The film board decided it with all due respect to Islam, since any decisions that are being taken in Malaysia must favor to Muslims first before it is cater to other religion that are free to practice here in the country. But worry not because usually at the end, the decision must be made through concrete analysis based on firm reasons. So no bias decision here. No upper hand too. (Go google it yourself why they ban it)  Okay long story short, what I was trying to tell here is that how the arguments on the decision of banning Beauty and The Beast were on fire. I literally swayed my opinions left and right after reading some debate and in which make me realize one thing; getting to know myse...

  Am already in the 3rd week of my 2nd semester of 2016 academic year. Am already 4 months away for my industrial training which I wish to just be 30 minutes by car from my house because economy is getting worse and I am a cheapskate to withdraw my savings on gas and toll (read: I prioritize money on food). Emerging to a more intense semester I have definitely spend more times reflecting my past mistakes in studying and socializing or communicating whatever you call it. Long story short, for the very first time ever my semester pointer skyrocket.. Legit. You may imagine me screaming in front of my laptop's screen scrolling my result for hundreds time to feel amaze of my grade. But rather than that, I felt a bit strange. It is like the Lord is trying to sent me a clue. Some sort of message to wake me up from dreaming. It was like He was showing me His ultimate power of almighty.   Of course I did some listing to compare myself from previous semester to this glorious o...